RIDLEY XCX
(Ridley) Yes, so my drag name is Ridley XCX. I just hit like a year and a half.
So there's a chance that changes at some point. I did pick that name before Brat Summer. And then over the course of Rocky Horror, I actually was like, I kind of really like being called Ridley.
(Ridley) So I like that name out of drag. But you'll probably find me in materials under Tori Jewell. And I'm rocking with they/them these days.
(Ridley) Yeah, yeah, can’t go wrong.
(Ridley) Yeah, I don't know. Like, thing, I think is a good coverall. Because I do like drag queen numbers as well. When Poor Things came out, I was like, I got to do something… like I love that. And then Gone Girl – she's got that monologue that I really love.
But it's definitely harder to feel like what I'm doing… like what makes it drag? You know what I'm saying? I get some of that internal insecurity. Like if I'm doing a queen number, what exactly makes it a drag? You know what I mean?
And one of the feelings I had in drag for the first couple times was feeling like I liked feeling like I was a boy dressed up as a girl, which had started some like questions about gender and helped me realize that I think like femininity and womanhood is something I felt was a skill, makeup, act, as opposed to a part of my identity. So it's a lengthy answer to your question.
(Ridley) Yeah. You got me at an interesting time. I, I just applied to this like trans-masc cabaret. I'm about five months in on like a low dose of T. I hope you can hear it in my voice. Maybe it's a little deeper than we first met.
(Ridley) Thank you. But it's like… I feel like I got plenty of acne on my chest. I don't have any facial hair yet. So I'm feeling in this weird kind of like limbo… And then so I don't know. I just feel like I'm not in a place like to confidently claim an identity. Although I would never hold somebody else to that standard.
Like, and why am I putting a third party, like the cisgendered idea of like, what does a “man” look like into my own self identification? So I'm feeling like in limbo. But when I see trans men, I feel very connected to that.
And I'm like… top surgery is something I'd be very interested in. So for now, I feel comfortable with just like non-binary. But I feel like if I started to look in the mirror and see someone who I perceived as more masculine, like, you know, endless discussion about passability, and like, does that have a place?
Whatever, it's like internalized shit.
That's like, I feel like I can't claim trans man until I like, I don't know, I feel like I get the external results for it. And then in terms of sexuality, I identify as bi.
And I have a lot of insecurity with that as well, because I am dating a man. And I feel like I spent a lot of time on Twitter, probably too much time on Twitter… So it's got me convinced that that just is irrelevant, or like, I don't know, some somehow doesn't count or something.
So which I get, I get arguments from both sides. But it's just something I kind of keep quiet about, because it's like, I don't know, I don't know, it feels like less, which it's, I don't know, anytime I see, like a different friend who has that same identity, identity by when if you're dating a cishet man, and you call him partner, I don't know, maybe I'm in the wrong for that. But it feels obfuscating.
And I'm like, you just gotta… you know what I mean? Own it. And I don't know.
RIDLEY XCX
(Ridley) You know, honestly, that Chug Jug song. It’s fun, it gets the crowd going, you know what I mean? It’s got some great, um, that classic like…
(Ridley) It’s got, actually, the very first Qamp night, I brought that same Jonesy number. It was like, just like, I feel like a handful of us. But that was kind of cool to be part of like the, you know, the induction of it. What was the question?
(Ridley) Ah, so yeah, love Chug Jug. And then I’ve struggled with making a number that’s longer than three minutes, I think, because I always like trying to think of like, okay, what is the audience thinking? Is this bit worth it? Do I need to speed this up? Um, I’d be interested in doing like a standstill ballad at some point, because I feel like I’ve been subconsciously avoiding it.
(Ridley) Oh my god, tea! That was a… I really loved doing that number. Um, so I love Chug Jug and honestly, doing, doing Frank, it was such a, um, literal, like, years-long dream come to fruition. It’s probably my favorite thing I’ve ever done while I’m in New York.
It was such a good time, and it’s something I’ve been like dreaming of since I was like very young. Um, and Sweet Transvestite was a great time. You know, everybody knows the song, they love it, and getting to like rip the trash bag off… so that’s the thing is like, I don’t… my looks, I feel like aren’t quite there. But there’s these like, I don’t know, seeing, um, Orkgotik on Dragula, that like your only materials are, um, not silicone, um, cellophane, and you know, just like glue and stuff. It’s great to see those kind of examples. It’s like, wow, like, you know, we could be making outfits out of things that are, I don’t know, not even close.
So yeah, I don’t know. Chug Jug is just like, it’s a, it’s a good time. It’s fun. And it was the first one I did, so that’s like the first one that pops in my head.
RIDLEY XCX
(Ridley) It actually, for all its criticisms, I was watching an old season of RuPaul's that I'd never seen before, not old, but it wasn't current. And Gottmik walked on screen. And I genuinely I don't think I've ever seen a trans man ever.
I grew up in North Carolina. And I had this kind of gut drop moment. And I think the thought that came to my head was like, you're allowed to do that.
Like, you know, that's an option. And so after that, I had mentioned it to a friend who kind of inducted me into drag – Rosetta Stone was the drag name and has since left the scene. His name is Vince.
And he's really funny. He would have all these like, the best part of drag is quitting like these like, I don't know, kind of like, stage mother type words or whatever. So he had put me in, like glued my brows down and painted my face for the first time.
And that was around Halloween. And so as I kind of started playing with that the white face paint became something that I really enjoyed because it felt even if it the look was busted, it looks like… I don't know… an elevated type something? Like I'm clear this clearly isn't you know, ‘I just decided to do my makeup to go out like it's something else’.
And then New Year's Eve coming into 2024 is when I did my first drag performance in a living room with friends. It was Fortnite theme.
(Ridley) So glad you asked!! So Jonesy is the default character in Fortnite. He's like a blonde military looking guy. So that puffy muscle suit I had like nipple pasties or whatever.
And the song was “Number One Victory,” yeah, “Fortnite We’re About to Get Down,” the American Boy cover, “Chug Jug With You,” into “Video Games” by Lana Del Rey. And so it became this, like, I don’t know, it was like a — like how much I love Fortnite — but then at the end with “Video Games,” because I think she says something like, “it’s you, it’s you, it’s all for you,” was meant to be a love letter to my friends and like support.
And then she’s got a line that has “girl” in it, and I kind of liked that as like — because I start with my big muscle suit — and then once it takes that more dramatic turn, I kind of took it off, and it was a bit of like a, you know, nude illusion-type, like vulnerability-type thing. “Oh, I heard you like bad girls, honey, is that true?”.
Anyway, so it was — it was really fun, and I got to, um, practice in a room that was very supportive, with people who I felt very close to and loved. Then I took it to the first open set I found, which was — you might have to redact this, okay — it was at, um, 9 Bob Note, called “Are You the Next Ultimate Diva?”
And I went because it was the first open set I found. It’s a fantastic space, huge. Have you ever been there? It’s right beside Three Dollar Bill — it’s like, I think, sister.
Yeah, but that is a glamour competition, and I showed up with my shitty, ugly, wrinkly muscle suit doing a Fortnite-themed number.
And actually, the host had prefaced me before I came out because their poster says “Drag Kings, Queens, Things, like all are welcome,” and she gets on the mic and is like, “Now we do welcome everyone here…” I was backstage like, oh, like she didn’t say anything before anybody else.
And looking back now, I can see, like, I just was in the wrong competition, you know what I mean? Like I just wasn’t, um, I wasn’t doing the genre they were looking for.
But it was kind of — that was where I performed for the first time, like publicly, for sure.
(Ridley) Um, it was really good. I think now that I’ve had some reps in, and I’m like a year and some change, I’m able — like, I think when I watch the video back, I can see myself thinking. And now I’m able to kind of let loose a little bit more.
RIDLEY XCX
(Ridley) And it was like — I don’t know, I feel like one of the places I would like to improve is my looks and, um, polish, you know what I mean? Glamour.
(Ridley) Really? Oh, you’re too kind, thank you. It’s honestly — it’s the clothes and the, um, hair sculpting. Like, I’d like to be able to do, you know, more than just, like, I get the wig out of the bag and I put it on.
(Ridley) Um, and I don’t know — that’s the other thing with drag king looks. Sometimes I feel it’s difficult to elevate it, and even with gender stuff too.
Um, I feel for folks who want to try out a feminine look, you’ve got, you know, nail polish, skirts, makeup — there’s a lot of things we associate with femininity.
(Ridley) But it’s hard for me to name something that’s like, “This is just masculine,” or “I associate it with just masculine,” because at this point, um, like, 50 years ago, if somebody was a woman wearing pants, it may have been, like, scandalous.
But now it’s kind of like, who cares?
Um, I lost my train of thought again. Oh, so just — I’d like to be able to either tailor my stuff or, I don’t know, sequin or something.
Because I want — I don’t know, I want to, like… So that’s why I do long nails for my drag king looks, just because I want — I want people to know I’m putting in the work.
I just — I’m like confused sometimes on if it’s a guy. I mean, you saw my look for, uh, the TikTok thing — it was like jeans and a freaking shirt.
(Ridley) Thank you!
(Ridley) Thank you.
And that was one of the few times I tried to just do more of, like, a natural, like, I don’t know, just contour-type look. Um, but the clothing is something I’d like to, like, this time next year, maybe get better at.
RIDLEY XCX
(Ridley) Um, again, I love how expansive it is.
I’m only making tracks I’m really excited to do so, as opposed to, like, I was taking any kind of, like, stage gig I could get. This one, it’s like, oh, I got to mash up, like, this monologue I love with this song I’m really into right now. Um, and so I’m always really excited for whatever I’m bringing. Um, so I love how personal it can be, and not only do I love performing, I love seeing what other people are doing, you know? Yeah.
Um, and because it’s such an intimate space, usually, that, I feel, gives it something different from, like, when you go to see a stage show. And because it’s also so expansive — like, I’ve seen numbers that I’m like, I would never have thought of that, that is so smart — Xana Whoria, I don’t know, have you ever seen? Um, great performer, did, like, I don’t know what the song was, but had this, like, sticky goo, and so the tips would get, like, stuck onto — oh my god — and then I saw somebody do a rock and roll ABBA “Money, Money, Money” with a stapler. It would staple the — oh my god — bills. It was so punk, it was crazy, that’s insane.
Um, anyway, so I love that I’m seeing things I’ve never seen before. It’s literally a couple feet away from me, like that. As a — I love being an audience member there too. Like, I love to clap, I love to tip.
Something I hate about it: oh my god, it’s so late. I’m old. I want to be in bed before midnight. I hate how late it is. I hate that it doesn’t start on time. I hate that I feel like I’ll get there way early and then just be sitting around.
And the fact that you can drink while doing it, which is something that doesn’t exist, like, in terms of, like, I don’t know, the theater scene — oh my god — the first time I performed at 9 Bob Note, I had smoked before and my mouth was so dry. I hadn’t considered that lip sync. I got, like, you know when dogs, like, they’re like — they get stuck in their gum.
Um, so the fact that, like, substances are, like, you know, it’s usually at bars and stuff, um, I have to kind of be mindful of, because, um, I don’t want to — I don’t want to get there too early and then I’m drinking too much, and then by the time it’s finally time to perform, I’m like, you know, I don’t know, not able to give it my best show, or like, I’m forgetting what I’m supposed to do because I’m fucking drunk.
RIDLEY XCX
(Ridley) Yeah, so when I applied to that thing most recently, it’s like, why, you know, why do you need to be on the stage? Like what, why is it important for you to bring what you’re bringing? And because I feel like, you know, my looks have a way to go, um, like gender-wise I am wanting to be farther along.
Just because it’s not perfect, you should still do it, you know what I mean? If you’re waiting for it to be perfect, you will be waiting forever.
And so my message is: try it. You know, go out there and try it if it’s something you’re interested in. Like block a brow, slap a wig on, and go for it.
I feel like, um, generally people are receptive and supportive if you know the venues to go to. So yeah, that would be my message: don’t, don’t wait for perfect. Just throw it out there.
And at the end of the day, as long as you are having fun, they’re having fun, you know?
And so with High School Musical, that’s what I’m gonna try to remember. If I’m, you know, sitting there stressing about, okay, what’s my next, what’s my this, what’s my that, it’s like, it’s not that serious.
Yeah, and of course I take it seriously in that I want to, you know, bring a performance and like I don’t want to hinder anybody else doing that thing. But it’s also like, I don’t know. We do this to bring joy and to like to pay homage to pieces of art that we appreciate.
I think that’s what I love about drag too, is like it’s diva worship.
And sometimes I’ll do niche shit and I try to pick songs that like at least people will be familiar with, even if the reference is niche. But the people who know it are having a time, you know what I mean?
So yeah, I think just go for it. Don’t let the idea of what you think drag is or like what it needs to be stop you from trying. And there’s a lot of folks who start in the, you know, like yeah, put it, put a look on and take a picture, and if that’s that, then like great. At least you made a step.
Yeah, so, so I think my message would just be: even if it’s okay to be new, it’s important to be new. And it’s almost more important for us to see drag in its beginning stages than to see that perfect, polished look, you know what I mean?
I think Alaska Thunderfuck had said something about it. Like it’s, it’s important to have a couple bad looks in the beginning. It’s important to have your oatmeal on your brows.
So yeah, I would encourage anybody who is out there who either loves, loves, you know, consuming it, like give it a shot. You’ve got nothing to lose.